Arrival & The Profundity of God

Originally written on November 12th, 2016

After watching Arrival a few thoughts flooded my mind that I have been ruminating through for the past eight hours. How does God view time? The fact that our dreaming is one of the primary ways in which God speaks to us is profound. Oracles of the Lord are often caught in this place between humanity and divinity. Do they know what they are speaking or writing when they do? Was Isaiah aware that Cyrus had not even been born? In fact, God’s people had not yet been oppressed by Babylon when he prophesied that as king Cyrus would deliver them from said bondage? The Lord speaks within the confines of our time. He is not only standing at the beginning of our time and the end of it, He IS the beginning and end of it. He is already where I am going and stands before where I have been. I am rendered speechless in my finiteness as I wonder these things in the Presence of the infinite Person, God the Mountain. The greatest meaning that I have in my life is to close the distance between He and I. The depth of my heart craves God. But the substance in which I am encased, the elements of my very own material and immaterial body, my flesh, is impatient with the journey to His heart. I am having to learn true stillness. I am having to learn true patience.

One thing I have observed by examining the Scriptures is that most of the God encounters that people have were not inspired by them. In other words, God’s movement towards an individual was not triggered by their movement towards God. The Scriptures paint a picture of God sovereignly interrupting their lives with His essence. But I am reminded of the New Testament truths:

1)      Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

2)      He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

My beautiful wife sings a song she wrote called “My Soul Yearns”. Many times I feel that my ability to pursue has not fully matured alongside my desire to find; that my yearning for God is much greater than the fostering of my perseverance to seek Him until He is fully apprehended. The responsibility to seek Him and find Him is mine. This is a profound discipline as a believer. If the beginning of all existence and the ending of all I know rests in this uncreated being known as “Father” than there is a good chance that the heavens and the earth, the very totality of existence is available within the valleys and plateaus, recesses and mountains that exist within Him. God is a wonderland. God invites me to explore Him. It is not up to me as to know when He will “reward” me with His Presence. It is only up to me to faithfully pursue. A day to the Lord is as a thousand years. He stands outside of time and perforates it, as He pleases, with all articles of Himself; His voice, His words, His hand, His sound, His Presence, His touch. The way in which He communicates is solely up to Him. I cannot manipulate God into speaking into my circumstances. I can only bend my will by His grace and enable the cross to create a posture of heart in me to endlessly pursue. The rest I will enter will primarily be that of being completely apprehended by the One who I am so desirous of apprehending. I am cultivating how to seek. I am cherishing how I hear. I am chronicling what I see. I am eager to be held. I am anxious to expound.

“But as for me it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge, I will tell of all Your deeds.” – Psalm 73:28

I have discovered that it is beneficial to close the distance between me and God. This is an understatement. I have made someone who seemingly, elusively evades my best efforts only to find Him as my very own hiding place. This is a profound paradox. I am living within someone who is outwardly impossible to find. But the truth of God’s nature is that He not only desires to be found but desires to be inhabited. The Grand Patriarch of all existence wants His children to live IN Him. The Architect of time and space, the Unmade One has the capacity and capability of housing millions of individuals within His immaterial self. Such lofty realizations exceed my limit to keep silent. This is why, as Asaph wrote, I will tell of ALL Your deeds.

As I write this Michael has been intermittingly shouting, “Can one of you find Justice League for me!?” He has been shouting this for the past 15 minutes. What I am hearing and perceiving is something else that is noteworthy. Michael is asking his Parents to help him find something. He asking, seeking and knocking until one of us respond to him. This means that Michael has the potential within himself to keep asking until he finds what he is looking for; that he will keep seeking until his Father responds. It is amazing to me that God, who is an effortlessly supreme being, can be moved by our persistent knocking. In this situation Michael’s desire to play the video game “Justice League” is fueling his questioning of us to help him. Because his desire to play this game is so strong he will not stop asking anytime soon. Now he is simply shouting, “Mommy! Mommy! Will you find Justice League for me?” My wife is probably feeding Nathan which Michael should understand but has not demonstrated in any way that he does. His desire, though selfish, is all consuming.

One of the things I am learning about God in the season I am in is that it is imperative to know what season you are in. Knowing the season you are in with God informs us of how we should respond to and interact with God. The example that helps drive this home for me is my prayer time. If Andrew and Michael “find” me during my prayer time they know that I will not stop praying just because they have come into the room. They are allowed to be in the same room with me and be held by me but I will not give them my full attention, play with them or respond to them at this time because what I am doing is doubtlessly more important. Me praying for them at the start of the day is the absolute greatest thing I can do for them. It is more important than playing with them, finding Justice League or even responding to them at this time.

Right now I am not responding to Michael because he is “praying amiss”. Because of this he is growing frustrated and about to throw a fit. Because he does not recognize the season or time he is in he feels powerless and is frustrated that his requests are not being heard or answered. The truth is that he has been heard. From the very first moment that he began to ask I heard him clearly. But what I am currently doing is more important than what he wants. I am not moved by what he wants. In fact, he is “praying” so far off base now that he is about to be reprimanded.

I just finished speaking to Michael. I stood there at the top of the stairs and looked at him. He already knew by my Presence and my Face that I was not pleased with his behavior. I asked him if he thought we heard him. He said no. I told him that I heard him from the very moment he began to cry out. I also told him that there are times when Mommy and Daddy are doing something more important. This means that he will have to, “…..wait”. Of his own volition Michael expressed the right answer for the season he was in. He knew that the best thing for him to do is be patient which can be quite difficult. Nathan was crying upstairs while Beth was giving Andrew a quick haircut. So I picked him up and brought him with me. I was willing to leave Michael and help Nathan because he is more immature and he does not have the ability to understand patience or to even comprehend times and seasons. At five years old Michael does. At five years old Michael at least knows from Mommy and Daddy’s “ways”; our track record, that we will eventually answer him and because we bought the game for him he will eventually get what he wants. I would never hold back anything good from my son. Neither does God.

Because of more pressing needs I left the 99, those who were closest to me and bleating the loudest, to seek out the one who cannot fend for himself and who has yet to understand. The Lord has had me wait for Him for over seven months now and about a month ago began to make changes to fulfill His promise to me. The appropriate response from me during this season was to wait upon the Lord and cultivate a heart of gratitude. There have been moments where I truly understood this but I was not consistent throughout. Thus I have positively grown in the Lord and will relish the importance of this time in the future. One of the greatest weaknesses we suffer as adults is the reality that we may, in many ways, be physically mature but not yet spiritually mature. GOD in all His profundity and grand wisdom is, by His Spirit, perfecting this very thing that concerns us. 

Photo by Lily Graciela Garay